remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
