she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
