girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
