I'm sorry my penis didn't work
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize