I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
