I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize