i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I need to stop coming to work sober
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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