How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
