i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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