Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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