So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You ruined the universe
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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