A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
