Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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