All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize