i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
