Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis