I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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