if only i could text you this smell
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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