Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
