I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize