Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
