Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
