it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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