You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
