A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
