I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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