I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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