i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
