woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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