two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
