great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I need water and some morals
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
