I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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