What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
