mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
