You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
