I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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