my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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