Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
