i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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