i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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