So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
