You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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