Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize