Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
