You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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