So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm passing your future prison.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize