Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
