i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
