well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He has the fingertips of a God
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