I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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