why didn't you poke me back
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
