I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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