We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
