I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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