Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
