How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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