my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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