i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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