I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
