aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize