There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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